My MindSpace Puzzles :-)

Today, after long I felt like writing something but really couldn’t think anything worthwhile to pen down. Was watching “Iss Jungle se mujhe bachao” reality show which prophase that one should overcome one’s fear by doing something which you are scared of. As usual then, I was trying to google something on ‘fear’ and landed up to an interesting point of ‘fear and sex’. This is a book written by Dr. Susan Block. Wow, I never thought that there could be people who fear sex. Maybe I was ignorant about it or never ever imagined about such a fear. But this is not what intrigued me to this topic. It was some excerpts from this book which left me thinking on fear alone. Below is some excerpts which provoked my thoughts:

 [[[ However educated or sophisticated we think we are, a part of our brain slithers through the shadows of our consciousness, like a snake. Our Reptile Brain is one of the older, more basic parts of us, making us all--no matter how moral or dignified we may think we are—fear the fear.

 But what about those fears at the bottom of the Battle of the Sexes, our fears of the opposite sex? Everyone fears being hurt, of course. Men aren't from Mars, and women aren't from Venus. We both have the same down-to-earth fears of pain, failure, rejection, exploitation, abandonment and destruction.

But, if you don't mind generalizing, there are a few interesting differences. Most men seem to fear a woman's irrational side: the hysterical premenstrual woman, the witch, the bitch, the nag, the unreasonable ex, the false accuser, the fatal attractor. These have been figures of fear and loathing throughout patriarchal history. Perhaps even more than the blatantly ugly witch, men fear the beautiful secret witch, the beauty who is really a bitch, the adorable angel with the devil inside, the Circe who seduces men only to savage them. Men fear being tricked, rejected, and emasculated by women. Whole societies of men fear women's sexuality so much that they demand that all fertile females in their communities cover their bodies from head to toe, and/or surrender their reproductive rights to the state.

And women? For us, it's quite simple: Most women fear male force, rape, physical or mental brutality. Women also fear the more chronic form of male brutality: oppression.

So, that's what the fear fueling the Battle of the Sexes ultimately comes down to: Brutes and Nuts. Women fear brutes. Men fear nuts. On the whole, of course. We are generalizing. But to generalize just a bit further, aren't men excited by a woman's witchy wildness, her beguiling feminine mystery? And aren't women attracted to men's brute strength, fantasizing about being "swept away" by the irresistible force of a powerful man? And don't we all do foolish risky things in the name of love? You bet your shivering bootie, baby.

So, are we attracted to what we fear? Or do we fear what attracts us? Both, my darling, it's inevitable. It's reptilian. And it can be dangerous. But, life is dangerous. Best to let your conscience and intelligence steer your personal "fear fetish" away from real danger and into safe, positive, nonviolent directions.

In nature, feeling afraid is what often saves an animal from destruction, inspiring fight or flight. Physiologically, fear is a wave of excess energy pumped into a creature to help it deal with a crisis. If you think of fear as extra energy, you can use it to enhance your power, performing a kind of mental alchemy. As the old alchemists turned lead into gold, "brave" people turn fear into focus, excitement and power. This may get you killed (or rejected), of course. But it's the only chance you've got to go for the gold. You can turn the fear that inspires fight (anger, frustration) into hot, dynamic power, the power of mastery. Turn the fear that inspires flight (helplessness, inexperience) into cool, magnetic power, the power of mystery.

Should you expose your fears? To your partner? To the world? That is a question with no simple answer. Exposing your fears will, without a doubt, scare some people away.]]]