Have you ever felt cold feet at the very word “marriage”?
This was the topic of discussion in Oprah’s show last Sunday… Many of us bachelors and spinsters would have felt this strange feeling the moment our parents discuss about marriage…what are we afraid of? Is it the guy or girl we are getting married to, is it the freedom which will be lost, is it the insecurity of our marriage and relationship?
Someone said marriage is a conspiracy…the advanced women said that what keeps you up at night is the loss of your identity…why is that so? Then such marriages can only be termed as compromise to your present situations…if such a marriage or relationship develops cold feet and the fear doesn’t evaporate, then such an alliance cannot go for long!! It will just become a blame game…
Marriage is a bundle of sacrifices and mutual growth…and don’t dare to enter into such a holy alliance unless you are prepared for it…unless you are sure that your partner will help you grow into a beautiful person…no friendship or relationships can sustain for long just on the basis of attraction…there needs to be more than that…all such partnerships evolve with time and what might attract you in the initial phase of the alliance might not continue to attract when the relationship grows a bit old…its only when two partners revive the fire and kindle the flames of love and maturity in dealing with each other…its like a flower bud which needs sunshine and water…so as a marriage…
From the start, cultivate a very open and approachable relationship by always being there for each other. Confide every trivial thing in each other; share both the joys and the anxieties. So instead of falling out of love, owing to the proximity of others and the probable distance between u, you can still manage to return home to each other; the emotional connectivity bridging the gap.
Make time to do things together, play scrabble, watch television, share a chore and relax reading very different books. You might have very different temperaments too — She might be fiery and impatient, he’s cool and composed. you talk too much, he mostly listens. Luckily, the negatives do seem to cancel out. Togetherness comes with some great perks — you now have someone to share the responsibilities and daily chores too! That will ease your load and give you more time together. Small things like making up the bed, washing the filter, taking out the garbage or doing the vacuuming together can all add up to a lot. And the romance must continue. There should be time for dining out, holding hands, watching movies together and more. However, while we make time for togetherness, we also need time alone, to collect our thoughts, listen to music, play with our pets, meet friends, basically do our own thing.
We need to respect our boundaries and give each other breathing space. Besides this, we all come with excess baggage, those skeletons in the closet, a past! Honesty and truth should be the backbone of your new life together. When you go through a little turmoil, past episodes best forgotten come back in the open and old wounds are reopened. Don’t do that. Don’t let cobwebs of yesterday haunt you. The fact that you are still with your spouse/partner affirms the importance of his/her presence. The past is irrelevant. So move on and embrace today.
Try to remain the ‘hot and sexy’ partner for each other, even 15 years down the line of marriage and kiss each other with the same passion when you were in courtship before marrying 
